A while back, I posted some of the random text messages I have received on my cell phone. Here's volume 2.
* my friends neighbor in idaho poops in buckets and hangs them from trees to keep the deer away.
* Someone let the midevil club out and one of them is playing the recorder at passersby and the other one is just standing there.
* I am currently part corndog. What are you part?
* My attention spam sucks. I want a dog.
* I dropped my backpack in a huge beaker of propanol so i spent the day smelling like an alcoholic.
* Dude where are you... They are trying to make me play human foosball!
* Just passed a car whose license plate said poo.
* We're having a great time watching the herring in the yard.
* If you crossed Cher with Dolly Parton you would get Marie Osmond.
* We are at a concert and the guy in front of us is wearing a shirt that says "Science: It's What's For Dinner!"
* I just saw our middle school home ec teacher in the olive garden and she is wearing a string of knitted christmas lights around her neck!
* Wow, we are at a rest stop and some lady is trying to feed her infant baby a chicken leg from roy rogers.
* What is the etymology of the word sweepstakes?
* Well... A bird pooped on my face today.
* What's your vote... Bewitched or I Dream of Jeannie?
* I just fixed the garbage disposal using a head lamp and chop sticks. There was plastic, glass, and rock in it.
* Is there anything manlier than headbutting?
* We just got a turkey bastard.
* I got a free orange and donut. I'm awesome.
* A car was just driving next to the bus I'm riding and there was a plate of brownies on the roof. They turned and the brownies went flying.
* Heard on the news someone checked into the psych ward wearing only a thong and riding a goat. I'll come and get u but this has got to stop!
* "Do you realize" by the Flaming Lips was just voted in as the official state rock song of Oklahoma.
* I had a dream that when you give a dog a bath you have to plug its butt with a golf ball.