Girassol

Whatever I FEEL like I wanna write, GOSH!

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April 2010

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Categories

  • Body/Health/Weight
  • Family
  • Friends
  • Good Eats
  • Gratitude
  • Here's What I Hate:
  • Here's What I Like:
  • Laughing
  • Linguistic Oddities
  • Memes
  • Music
  • Our Friend, The Internet
  • Pennsylvania
  • Planes, Trains, and Automobiles
  • Random
  • Reflections
  • Religion
  • Talking About Myself Again
  • Teaching
  • Television
  • Travel
  • Utah

Recent Comments

  • Yarn Droid on Speaking clearly, or not so much
  • ghamiltonhill on Inspiration
  • Gettysburg Mom on Teaching in a rural high school is awesome
  • thesis writing on Three Things
  • balabo3_gv on ESL Tidbit of the Day: Beef, It's What You Wear On Your Feet
  • Miss Hass on Teaching in a rural high school is awesome
  • Girassol on 2007 in places
  • Girassol on Officially the last remaining single member of my family
  • Miss Hass on Home
  • Libby on Officially the last remaining single member of my family

Recent Posts

  • ppl r so funny lol :-) vol. 2
  • Teaching in a rural high school is awesome
  • Speaking clearly, or not so much
  • Home
  • 2007 in places
  • Officially the last remaining single member of my family
  • So the new school year is going OK
  • I am a curmudgeon
  • They're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone
  • I have been looking forward to this moment for five years.

Three Things

Three Things That Scare Me:

  1. bats
  2. the future
  3. not being good enough

Three People Who Make Me Laugh:

  1. Conan O'Brien
  2. Bill Bryson
  3. my family

Three Things I Love:

  1. old school PacMan and Tetris
  2. sunflowers
  3. traveling

Three Things I Hate/Severely Dislike:

  1. when people spell things wrong on purpose to be cute, or when people who can't spell don't use spell check, or when people think that spell check will catch problems like their/there/they're -- basically, crappy spelling really bugs me!
  2. feeling misunderstood
  3. cinnamon buns (actually, anything with that sickeningly strong cinnamon smell)

Three Things I Don’t Understand:

  1. time management
  2. bigotry
  3. males' obsession with physical attractiveness, and how otherwise intelligent, spiritual, together men can turn into rude, immature, base horndogs at the sight of a huge rack -- and how they don't seem to realize (or care) when it's fake, and that most women do not naturally look like Pamela Anderson, AND that so many of these same males are not particularly attractive themselves, yet they all think they deserve a woman that gravity-defyingly hot and see no problem with holding women to a much higher standard than the one to which they hold themselves.  This all makes zero sense to me.  (Whew... That's been waiting to spew out for a while now.)

Three Things On My Desk:

  1. my Nalgene bottle, full of water
  2. lots of piles of paper, books, and files
  3. an hourglass that a glassblower friend in Brazil made me

Three Things I’m Doing Right Now:

  1. blogging
  2. enjoying the sunlight and the breeze coming through my window
  3. taking a break from writing my thesis

Three Things I Want To Do Before I Die:

  1. get married and have kids
  2. drive the Panamerican highway
  3. ride the rails in a boxcar

Three Things I Can Do:

  1. speak three languages fluently
  2. play the piano
  3. cut hair

Three Things I Struggle to Do:

  1. math
  2. lose weight
  3. keep deadlines, whether I set them myself or they're imposed on me

Three Things I Think You Should Listen To:

  1. music that speaks to you, regardless of the genre, its age, or its degree of popularity
  2. people who have your best interests at heart
  3. your conscience

Three Things You Should Never Listen To:

  1. people who have a selfish agenda
  2. people who tell you it's not possible
  3. your own fears (easier said than done, I know!)

Three Things I’d Like To Learn:

  1. Japanese
  2. drums
  3. how to drive a motorcycle

Three Favorite Foods:

  1. ice cream
  2. potatoes, any style
  3. rice and beans

Three Shows I Watched As A Kid:

  1. Sesame Street
  2. Little House on the Prairie
  3. The Cosby Show

Three Shows I Watched As A Teenager:

  1. My So-Called Life
  2. Beverly Hills, 90210
  3. Saturday Night Live

Three Shows I Watch Now:

  1. American Idol
  2. Lost
  3. What Not To Wear (and everything else on TLC)

Three Things I Regret:

  1. lost friendships
  2. not finishing my thesis sooner
  3. all the times I've done or said something hurtful to someone else and not realized it

Posted on Sunday, 22 July 2007 at 05:53 PM in Memes, Reflections, Talking About Myself Again | Permalink | Comments (1)

Princess Grace

Someone on a website I frequent mentioned today that her children had just watched the Alfred Hitchcock classic, "Rear Window," and thought it was retarded.  I weep for these children.

The comment made me think about just how much I enjoy movies with Jimmy Stewart in them.  Find me a sweeter, more likeable everyman anywhere.  It can't be done.  If you can believably win over Grace Kelly and get her to burglarize your neighbor's apartment, and wear capri pants and read  Beyond the High Himalayas, then you have my undying affection.

So enchanted was I with "Rear Window" as a kid that I modeled my junior prom dress after the dress Grace Kelly wears in the movie when she brings Jimmy Stewart dinner from 21, except that my velvet and feathers were deep green, and I wore green velvet ballet slippers.  Also, I was probably at least twice as classy.  Those eyebrows, that tongue, those finger guns... Beat THAT with the sophistication stick!

Grace KellyGrace_kelly_2, 1954      
Me, 1994
Junior_prom_grace_kelly_dress

Posted on Friday, 20 July 2007 at 05:06 PM in Reflections, Talking About Myself Again | Permalink | Comments (0)

Inspiration

So, ever since my last post I have been looking for something to say that will move that whining down the page a little bit.  Curiously, posting about all the reasons I have to NOT write has caused me to reflect on all the other reasons I have TO write.  Yesterday's lesson during our women's meeting at church provided me with an idea.  The lesson was on gratitude -- on not just being thankful for the obvious, big blessings were have (food, shelter, family, job), but on all the little things that make life more comfortable, more pleasant, and more fun.  And also on finding reasons to be grateful for challenges and annoyances, which could easily have turned into a horrible cliché but, thankfully (HA!) didn't.

To begin the lesson, the teacher had us number 1-7 on a little piece of paper, and we were to write down the first thing that came to mind when she named a category.  After writing something down for each category, she had us label each item with a letter, which turned out to be the first letters of the days of the week.  Her suggestion to us was that each day of the coming week, we focus on the assigned item throughout the day and find something about it that we can be grateful for.  We never shared the items out loud, and nobody ever saw them.  I wondered to myself if anyone would actually do this.  And then I thought, "Well, I'll do it."

As I sat there in the class, my mind wandered back to my BYU days when I was living in an apartment with this girl named Beth, who had just returned from serving a mission in Spain's Canary Islands.  I was preparing to serve a mission myself at the time, and I really looked up to Beth.  She suggested doing an apartment prayer each night, and at first I was kind of skeptical about it because I'm not terribly fond of fake affection and spirituality.  I barely knew these roommates, and I didn't think I'd feel comfortable praying with them every night.  I didn't want to feel forced to go be spiritual if I was studying.  I didn't want to have to pretend I was as close to them as, say, my family. 

But Beth really knew what she was doing.  Each night at 10:00, whoever was home gathered in the living room for prayer.  The first night we did this, Beth told us about how as a missionary she and her companions always shared their favorite part of the day with one another prior to praying.  It started out kind of awkwardly, but within a short week or so, we were all having a great time with new this little tradition!  We roommates were becoming close friends.  Even better, I found myself becoming more mentally aware of the good things that happened to me each day.  I found myself writing them down so that I wouldn't forget them when prayer time came.  We got to the point where we were each sharing three or four "favorite parts" each night, and prayer time was stretching into almost a half an hour on particularly good days.  If friends were over, they joined us.  Several of them started doing the same thing with THEIR roommates.  It became a mini epidemic within that apartment complex during that semester.

When I left the apartment and went on a mission, I did the same thing with my companions.  When I look back on those several years of my life, I remember them as a really good period.  I honestly believe that much of that is due to the fact that I was consciously looking for the positive in my life.  I allowed myself, forced myself, to see the everyday blessings I was given.  There were a lot of tough times during those years, of course, but I can truly say that not a day went by that I didn't have at least one good thing to say.

So, fast forward to 2007.  The last few years of my life have been immensely stressful and complicated.  Job pressure.  School pressure.  Moving.  Being single.  Dating.  Breaking up.  Being single again.  Moving again.  And again.  And again.  New job pressure.  More school pressure.  No clean laundry.  Repeat ad nauseum.  It's time to start focusing on the positive and the gratitude again.  Not only do I feel that I need it for my own well-being, but the world can always use a little more positive vibe.

As a start, each day this week, I will be posting the item I came up with during yesterday's Church lesson, and a bit on why I'm grateful for it.  Here's the list of coming attractions, some of which will not be easy to be thankful for!

Monday:  Something in my house
Tuesday: Something that gives me trouble
Wednesday:  Something I know of but have never seen
Thursday:  A food
Friday:  A color
Saturday:  My least favorite feature of my body

Posted on Monday, 28 May 2007 at 03:33 PM in Reflections, Religion, Talking About Myself Again | Permalink | Comments (1)

Woe is Me

You may have noticed that I never post here anymore.  Actually, anyone with a remote interest in this blog probably ceased coming here a year or so ago, but just in case someone's still lurking around...

Being a public high school teacher, I go to great lengths to remain anonymous on the Internet.  If there is something to be found online about a teacher, high school kids will find it.  The last thing I need is a MySpace page created in my name by some pissed-off teenagers, or a printout of my blog on the walls of the school.   (Assuming there were actually any juicy posts ever made here!)

Also, since my life mainly consists of work, there isn't much non-work-related stuff to post about.  And we all know the dangers of posting about work on the Internet.  Combine that with the fact that if I were to post about individual kids I deal with at school, I'd be violating every privacy law known to man.  I could always post about how much I hate writing a Master's thesis, but even thinking about it gets old very quickly, never mind ranting about it day in and day out to the Internet.  Hopefully that weight will be off my shoulders in a few short months anyway.

I really do enjoy the camaraderie created with others through blogging.  I enjoy the instant feedback, and the challenge of presenting my thoughts in an entertaining way.  I like having a faster-than-handwritten way of recording what's going on in my life.  Maybe someday if I get out of this profession I'll feel safer blogging again.  I've thought about taking this page down, but everything will be deleted unless someone can tell me how to back it all up. 

It's kind of wasteful spending money every month on something I don't update.  Shoot, I could be going out and buying a meal for a homeless person with the $4.95 I spend monthly to keep the site live.  (Although let's face it, I'd really just buy myself an extra pint of Ben & Jerry's and a Pepsi.)

For fun, I updated my music and book lists.  They very much reflect my current mood and the thesis currently consuming all my free time.

Posted on Sunday, 22 April 2007 at 03:52 PM in Reflections, Talking About Myself Again, Teaching | Permalink | Comments (1)

Saying Goodbye to Matt

Matt

On Sunday I went to visit the grave of a dear friend of mine.  I’ve known Matt since we were probably 10 or 11. He died on Sunday, February 13th in a car accident on his way to Church. He had just turned 28 and was engaged to a great girl named Jayme. They had sent out their wedding invitations the day before the accident and had made an offer on a house earlier that week. Last Friday would have been their wedding day.

Jayme happened to be driving that morning, which was unusual, but Matt had forgotten his ID. They were on an Interstate on-ramp when she lost control of the car, overcorrected, went down an embankment and crashed into a tree. Matt was pronounced dead when help arrived, and Jayme ended up with all sorts of broken bones and awful injuries. They took her in an ambulance to the church where she had a private viewing on the day of Matt’s funeral. I can’t even imagine what she must have been going through.

Matt was close to my whole family and this was really emotional for all of us. My dad is the bishop of my home ward and he received the call about the accident and had to go to Matt’s house with the State Police to break the news to his mother and brothers. My sister and Matt had a very strong friendship, and his family asked her to give a eulogy and serve as one of his pallbearers. It wasn’t possible for me to go home for the funeral, but I did listen over the phone. My mom held her cell phone on her lap so I could hear the service from 3,000 miles away. It was beautiful, but still hard to take in as everything seemed so surreal. 

While I was home last week I thought a lot about Matt. I visited his mom and she’s doing really well, as is Jayme. It’s amazing how their faith has pulled them through losing someone so dear.

I’d like to share some of my favorite things about Matt.

He was one of the strongest people I have ever known. Matt decided to serve a mission for our Church when he was 22. Generally young men do this when they are 19, so it would have been very easy for him to say, “Forget it – I’m too old.” I have the utmost respect for his decision to go, and I know he regarded it as the best decision he ever made. Matt ended up serving the Spanish-speaking people in California, and I was serving a mission in Brazil at the same time so we  corresponded a couple of times. Once I got a letter from him with a statement I will never forget: “Work as if everything depended on you, and pray as if everything depended on God.”

When Matt had been on his mission for a little over a year, his father was diagnosed with lung cancer. By the time he was diagnosed he didn’t have a lot of time left, and Matt was allowed to take a few days’ break to fly home and visit his father because he was in very critical condition. His dad passed away on Easter Sunday. I was really impressed with how resilient Matt and his whole family were, and how OK they were with talking about it. His dad was a very positive, optimistic, upbeat guy, and Matt totally inherited that trait from him. 

The summer we were 14, our youth group did a week-long activity called the Pioneer Trek, where we walked all over the countryside pulling handcarts that carried our belongings, cooked over a fire, and had to dress like pioneers – bonnets and bloomers and everything. We weren’t even allowed to wear deodorant. Needless to say, many of us were exhausted and moody and really bothered that everyone stank and had greasy hair and all we had to eat was charred bread and beef jerky. People, I would NOT have made a good pioneer. But there’s Matt, just happy as a clam to be on an adventure, and reminding everyone good-naturedly about the rules for co-ed sleeping and peeing in the woods – “Bucks on the left, does on the right!” 

Matt did SO love an adventure, and he had this way of turning EVERYTHING into one. If we all went out for Japanese, Matt got the most bizarre thing on the menu (like the fluorescent orange codfish roe sushi in the picture above). One summer he and my sister and another friend decided to go on a road trip, so the very next day they set out across the country in a Ford Festiva with no air conditioning. They drove the whole way from Pennsylvania to Mexico, stopping all kinds of placesin between. Two years ago he came with my family to North Carolina for Thanksgiving, and we ended up going swimming in the ocean, although it was so cold that the fishermen were all wearing parkas and hats and staring at us like we were completely insane. One Christmas when his family was over at our house for a get-together it started to snow so much that they ended up staying overnight. We decided to go for a walk outside – it must have been close to midnight and there were nearly two feet of snow, but it was an absolute blast!

My favorite memory of Matt is the summer he took me on the BEST date I have EVER been on. We went to a little Civil War-era restaurant in Gettysburg where you eat in the stone cellar and there are just little lanterns on the table for light. Then we were going to go bowling but the lanes were closed. At this point, most guys would go, “Um, so what should we do now? You wanna rent a movie or something?” But again with the turning everything into an adventure, Matt said, “How about we go on one of those Ghost Walks?” We walked all over town on a tour where your guide is dressed up in some sort of Civil War costume and tells you all about what happened at different landmarks and the hauntings that have supposedly happened there. It was interesting and creepy, and so much fun to do something touristy right around home. 

Matt was the kind of person you could trust with anything and be completely serious with, but could also always count on to be up for having fun. I miss having him in my life.

For a person so utterly zealous about living to no longer BE living… His final resting place was just this rectangle of fresh brown dirt, surrounded by green grass covering the graves of people who have been gone for a lot longer. Going there provided me with some closure that I didn’t have since I couldn’t be at the funeral, but most of all I just felt this sense of peace and calm. While that spot of earth contains Matt’s body, his spirit is absolutely in a good place, and he has a bit more insight than we do as to why he died at such a seemingly inopportune time. Although it may sound totally cliché to say it, I know that Matt would want to know that people have been inspired to live better, happier lives because of his example. I know I have. 

So, Mista Soul Cracka, thank you so much for the great memories. Until we meet again…

Posted on Thursday, 28 April 2005 at 03:05 PM in Friends, Pennsylvania, Reflections | Permalink | Comments (2)

Happy Easter!

Isn't it amazing how Easter is almost always a gorgeous, sunny day?  What more perfect day is there for the world to be filled with light than on the day that celebrates the resurrection of Jesus Christ?

I had a lovely day -- spent a lot of time thinking about my relationship with the Savior and how different my life would be without His influence and example.  Easter is a beautiful day for reflection. 

My roommate's family invited my brother and me to their family Easter dinner.  Delicious food and fabulous company!  I wanted to contribute something, so I took along a passionfruit cheesecake that I made -- it was my first time doing an actual baked cheesecake with actual cream cheese in an actual springform pan, and I'm proud to say it was a hit.  I'll have to post the recipe tomorrow. 

I'm thankful for good friends and good families.  This world is full of really kind people, and I feel blessed to have crossed paths with so many of them.

Happy Easter to all!

Posted on Monday, 28 March 2005 at 12:55 AM in Reflections | Permalink | Comments (0)

Songs Currently Stuck In My Head

  • Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk - Paperweight

    Paperweight
    Joshua Radin & Schuyler Fisk: We Were Here

  • Elvis Perkins - While You Were Sleeping

    While You Were Sleeping
    Elvis Perkins: Ash Wednesday

Books in which my nose is currently stuck

  • John McWhorter: Doing Our Own Thing: The Degradation of Language and Music and Why We Should, Like, Care

When I'm not here, I'm visiting...

  • A Girl Who Wears Glasses
  • Aunt Marvel Salad
  • Cicada Song
  • dooce
  • Eric D. Snider
  • Go Fug Yourself
  • karinka
  • lolcats
  • Miss Hass's Happenings
  • Miss Nemesis
  • Nancy B.
  • Susannah's So-Called Life
  • Thinking it Through
  • Wet Feet
  • Zannah
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